The ‘I’m struggling’ thread

[Magpie]

Hi Kev, i'm.sorry you are.struggling at the monent, its been a.real test this year for all.of us, and we will all have our ups and downs. One thing I have done is get a fitbit, and it really motivates me to.do 10000 steps each day, and i usually walk listening to music or an audiobook. I have found religiously doing this every day has really helped.

Also i think about all the positives I have, staying healthy, having sport I can watch, and able to have this wonderful outlet to converse with this great forum, in no small part to your input.

Long term Kev, we are getting there, vaccine is coming, we will hopefully be free to do more things in the summer. Yes we will miss going to.the festival in all probability, it its only the one year though.

I try not to think of the negatives, and what we have in our control and the positives.

I hope that's not to preachy, but it comes from the heart, and sure we just need to hang on, and the future is going to be much better soon.

 

[Rooster Booster]

I am struggling, really struggling ....I feel so lonely, and the stupid thing is I know I'm not...I know I'm so lucky, so I feel even more of a fucking idiot.

I'm embarrassed. I am not even sure why I'm posting it, I assume I'm attention seeking.

What a courageous post Kev. The thing about feelings is that by their very nature they are not to be rationalised, they are not to be judged and certainly not to be dismissed or denied. They need to be acknowledged or more to the point embraced which you have had the courage to do.

Please do not be embarrassed. Rather congratulate yourself for finding the courage to express and embrace your feelings. You will by know have realised how much everyone is rooting for you and empathising. Take strength from this and the knowledge that we are all here for you. Often this is a cliche and what people think they need to say but it is clear that everybody here genuinely means it. Quite fucking amazing I’d say.

On a personal note I want to say a huge thank you for the warm welcome you have given me as a newcomer to this forum. It is a fact that this forum would be much the poorer for you not being at the heart of it. Many people have offered you their support, to listen to you, help if they can and hear you. The best advice I can think of is to say don’t suffer alone, don’t be stoical, don’t be apologetic for being a burden and accept the offers of help.

My parting comment to everyone is to think ahead a little bit and think about how this forum can help in the immediate aftermath of the festival. All of us suffer badly from post festival blues in the best of years and this year we can probably expect this to be even tougher so perhaps we can all get our heads together and see how we can occupy our grey cells, have some fun e.t.c.. For example the awards ceremony idea, competitions and other stuff.

 

[Kevloaf]

Hello,

I feel loads better today.

Thank-you to everyone that has messaged me privately and on here, part of the reason I felt like an idiot saying I felt "lonely" was because I knew/know how many genuinely good people on here would be here/there for me, which is an odd thing to try and explain because if I know that, why would I say I feel lonely?

I can't really put my finger on any 'one-thing' that had me feeling so low last night, but I promise I'm feeling totally different now and that's in no small part to the reactions, so thank-you again.

I will definitely take on board the 'walking' suggestions. I haven't been doing that and it sounds like I really should be.

Assume it goes without saying, but of course I am there if anyone wants to talk to me too.

:love_heart:

 

[ryanh97]

Hello,

I feel loads better today.

Thank-you to everyone that has messaged me privately and on here, part of the reason I felt like an idiot saying I felt "lonely" was because I knew/know how many genuinely good people on here would be here/there for me, which is an odd thing to try and explain because if I know that, why would I say I feel lonely?

I can't really put my finger on any 'one-thing' that had me feeling so low last night, but I promise I'm feeling totally different now and that's in no small part to the reactions, so thank-you again.

I will definitely take on board the 'walking' suggestions. I haven't been doing that and it sounds like I really should be.

Assume it goes without saying, but of course I am there if anyone wants to talk to me too.

:love_heart:

I'd agree with what a lot of people have said about walking. I only walk the dogs for around 25 minutes a day but it definitely makes a difference, gives you some fresh air and a chance to get away from everything else, no TV, no phone, just yourself and some to think.

 

[Magpie]

Ah good to hear Kev. As.i.say up and downs, its natural.

Here comes the science, believe walking releases endorphins, basically a.chemical reaction in the brain that helps people reduce they stress when released. . Also.helps a bit with sleeping Kev, I know you suffer a bit like me. Though they do say not to read tablets at night either, and thats why i know you have a sleep.problem as you on there.with me at 1.30 am!

 

[Quevega]

I'd agree with what a lot of people have said about walking. I only walk the dogs for around 25 minutes a day but it definitely makes a difference, gives you some fresh air and a chance to get away from everything else, no TV, no phone, just yourself and some to think.

Just hope it's not whilst they've announced Galvin's out of the festival.

 

[Magpie]

Do not do that Quevega, I just focused on your comment and not the Ryan's post. I was nearly writing to say I'm stuggling now!

 

[somer1]

Just hope it's not whilst they've announced Galvin's out of the festival.

Had to read that a few times then worked out Q was joking. He was wasn't he? :grief::grief::grief: :highly_amused::highly_amused::highly_amused:

 

[ryanh97]

Had to read that a few times then worked out Q was joking. He was wasn't he? :grief::grief::grief: :highly_amused::highly_amused::highly_amused:

And me somer, and I'd literally just watched Gordon say he's working well at home

 

[Quevega]

Apologies all.
Didn't realise the potential for confusion.

 

[Quevega]

Do not do that Quevega, I just focused on your comment and not the Ryan's post. I was nearly writing to say I'm stuggling now!

:highly_amused:
apologies again

 

[Magpie]

It was a few.seconds of mild panic. Its good to.get.the heart rate up now and again.:welcoming:

 

[Moby123]

I think that we're all struggling to some extent or another at the moment. And some days are worse than others.
Certainly fresh air and exercise are must do's to escape the cabin fever. Thank God we have the wonderful distraction of the festival to keep our minds engaged,

One other thing that has helped me is to tune out of the news. My take is wake me up when the pubs, restaurants and shops (not least the bookies!) are open again.
Until then, I couldn't give a flying fuck about the latest estimates of when lockdown will end, how many more people have died and how busy the hospitals are. It changes every day and it's generally for the worst isn't it? Hopes dashed, new variants, vaccine greed etc etc.
That may sound harsh but all it does is depress me make me anxious about whether we will ever fully recover our identities as social beings.
As for bubbles, rules and isolation.....I see friends of a similar mindset for the odd morning over a coffee to discuss the horses and life in general because rules may be rules but our mental health is important too.
Probably not a popular stance for many but I've never been one for being dictated to.

Glad you are feeling better today Kev. Things seem infinitely worse at 4am, that's for sure! If anyone in the Newbury area is struggling and fancies a coffee and chat then you know what to do.

 

[Middle_Of_March]

It’s been a crazy time for so many people in recent months and it really hits home when someone you know kills themself. Really shocking.

3 people I know have killed themself since the pandemic began - 2 of which were in the last month. 2 of them were under 21 and the other was late 20s. Terribly terribly sad for all their families. Very shocking and upsetting.

So why am I posting this somewhat randomly on a racing site you may ask..

As someone who also nearly made the decision you can never go back from a few years ago, I can say it gets better. I’m on and off with issues but I can genuinely say the best thing I ever did was still being here. Anyone that thinks they’re achieving nothing or things aren’t going to plan, realise that by being here in itself is an achievement. Every day you open those curtains in the morning or jump in the shower before you go to sleep is another day you’ve won. Be proud of that.

And please talk to someone. I made the fundamental mistake of hiding it from my family and friends. It was only when meeting my best friend at university did I ever talk to anyone about what happened and how I felt and it changed everything. Because she had been through the same. Now whenever me or her are feeling low, we talk it through. If we aren’t living in the same place (such as now), we try to pick up the phone and talk - day or night. And it helps. It really helps. In them sadder moments, the absolute best thing to do is to speak up. It’s the hardest but best thing you can do. Turn the sadness and battle inside your brain into a positive and speak it through. An hour later, things may feel just that 1% better or 75% better. But it will still feel better.

So with that in mind, I’m puttting notifications for this thread on and, as someone who is ALWAYS awake through the night, if anyone ever wants to talk things through, DM me or post something on this thread and I’ll PM you. If you want to reply, great. If you want to ignore it, that’s fine too. If you want to tell me to f**k off, you can even do that. But please talk to someone. Even if you’re in that group chat, you can message me privately on there. MOM = George.

We all need to look out for each other. And let’s start that as of today.

 

[The King Pimm]

It’s been a crazy time for so many people in recent months and it really hits home when someone you know kills themself. Really shocking.

3 people I know have killed themself since the pandemic began - 2 of which were in the last month. 2 of them were under 21 and the other was late 20s. Terribly terribly sad for all their families. Very shocking and upsetting.

So why am I posting this somewhat randomly on a racing site you may ask..

As someone who also nearly made the decision you can never go back from a few years ago, I can say it gets better. I’m on and off with issues but I can genuinely say the best thing I ever did was still being here. Anyone that thinks they’re achieving nothing or things aren’t going to plan, realise that by being here in itself is an achievement. Every day you open those curtains in the morning or jump in the shower before you go to sleep is another day you’ve won. Be proud of that.

And please talk to someone. I made the fundamental mistake of hiding it from my family and friends. It was only when meeting my best friend at university did I ever talk to anyone about what happened and how I felt and it changed everything. Because she had been through the same. Now whenever me or her are feeling low, we talk it through. If we aren’t living in the same place (such as now), we try to pick up the phone and talk - day or night. And it helps. It really helps. In them sadder moments, the absolute best thing to do is to speak up. It’s the hardest but best thing you can do. Turn the sadness and battle inside your brain into a positive and speak it through. An hour later, things may feel just that 1% better or 75% better. But it will still feel better.

So with that in mind, I’m puttting notifications for this thread on and, as someone who is ALWAYS awake through the night, if anyone ever wants to talk things through, DM me or post something on this thread and I’ll PM you. If you want to reply, great. If you want to ignore it, that’s fine too. If you want to tell me to f**k off, you can even do that. But please talk to someone. Even if you’re in that group chat, you can message me privately on there. MOM = George.

We all need to look out for each other. And let’s start that as of today.

That’s a lovely read MoM and a big big thank you to everyone who took the time to contribute to this thread yesterday. It takes a lot of courage to let someone know you’re struggling as it’s easier to hide those feelings away and try to work out those issues in your own mind. The problem when you’re down and you try to reason with yourself is that you end up just beating yourself up more and putting yourself down further into a hole. Sometimes another voice or someone’s else’s reasoning can make a big difference.
January can be a very bleak month, rubbish weather, limited funds and no where to go. I see a lot of suicides attempts in my proper job, fortunately more people see sense and listen to the advice being given and have a change of mind instead of seeing the attempt through. But that’s only because an intervention has taken place. If you’re on your own and at your weakest then you’re vulnerable and your mind can let you down if you doubt yourself too much. Stay focused and remember it’s just a tunnel you’re capable of walking out of yourself but it’s a lot easier if you have someone to help you to show you the way.

That said, George can I take you up on your very kind offer of talking on your phone to anyone any time if they are distressed? I’ve an 10 week year old puppy who hates her crate and me throughout the night and lets me know by continuously yapping and howling. I’m sure she just wants someone to talk to, fancy keeping her company from the hours of midnight to 7am, can I give her your number!:grief:

 

[Middle_Of_March]

That’s a lovely read MoM and a big big thank you to everyone who took the time to contribute to this thread yesterday. It takes a lot of courage to let someone know you’re struggling as it’s easier to hide those feelings away and try to work out those issues in your own mind. The problem when you’re down and you try to reason with yourself is that you end up just beating yourself up more and putting yourself down further into a hole. Sometimes another voice or someone’s else’s reasoning can make a big difference.
January can be a very bleak month, rubbish weather, limited funds and no where to go. I see a lot of suicides attempts in my proper job, fortunately more people see sense and listen to the advice being given and have a change of mind instead of seeing the attempt through. But that’s only because an intervention has taken place. If you’re on your own and at your weakest then you’re vulnerable and your mind can let you down if you doubt yourself too much. Stay focused and remember it’s just a tunnel you’re capable of walking out of yourself but it’s a lot easier if you have someone to help you to show you the way.

That said, George can I take you up on your very kind offer of talking on your phone to anyone any time if they are distressed? I’ve an 10 week year old puppy who hates her crate and me throughout the night and lets me know by continuously yapping and howling. I’m sure she just wants someone to talk to, fancy keeping her company from the hours of midnight to 7am, can I give her your number!:grief:

Haha - sounds good that TKP. I gave up trying to train my dog into sleeping on his bed after about a month and he ended up sleeping on my bed for a while. Before one day realising his own bed was quite nice and now he seems to spend 50% of the time on mine and his. When I’m away at uni, I’m told he spend every night on his bed without any crying so I guess he’s through it all now.

The toilet training is the worst part of having new puppies though! I don’t envy you TKP on that front!

 

[Redbridge]

So many of us only see things the way they were, my comforting thought is my mother and father, he was away in the forces for six years and she was living in war torn London by the docks with my sister, both sleeping under a table with bombs dropping all around, my father was overseas fighting not knowing if his wife and daughter were still alive, this must have been mental torture for both.

When things get dark for me I compare my current situation to back then when they had no say in what their tomorrows may bring, we have to just hang in there.

Keep strong and safe everyone.

 

[RufusFlynn]

Happy Monday - New day, new month.

We can say now the festival is next month!

Hope that brings a small bit of joy to anyone who has been feeling low lately.

Hope everyone has a good week.

 

[Quevega]

So many of us only see things the way they were, my comforting thought is my mother and father, he was away in the forces for six years and she was living in war torn London by the docks with my sister, both sleeping under a table with bombs dropping all around, my father was overseas fighting not knowing if his wife and daughter were still alive, this must have been mental torture for both.

When things get dark for me I compare my current situation to back then when they had no say in what their tomorrows may bring, we have to just hang in there.

Keep strong and safe everyone.

Perspective :encouragement:

 

[Quevega]

Happy Monday - New day, new month.

We can say now the festival is next month!

Hope that brings a small bit of joy to anyone who has been feeling low lately.

Hope everyone has a good week.

Positivity:encouragement: