The ‘I’m struggling’ thread

[Redbridge]

I hear a lot of people are in the same boat particularly since this Covid 19 began and the return of racing resumption with 70 live races a day just UK and Ireland and bored to tears with the TV and filmed out, locked in mostly and so everything slips.

I went from 6 bets a month to 6 a day on some days and you are letting all the old disciplines slip out the window so back in early September I also took a betting holiday for 14 weeks and returned to start having my Cheltenham A/P bets, 6 bets 2 animals and that's enough for now.

I'm 73 and been through the mill with gambling but strangely only the horses and I can't stand any other form of gambling apart from the gee-gee's, but my mate phoned me yesterday and began telling me he received a phone call out of the blue from our old mate Mick on New Years eve, cut to the chase the last time we were together was 10 years ago but Mick is an 80 year old seemingly reformed compulsive clean to my knowledge for over 30 years but apparently since the lock down he started again and to use his words has done his bollocks lock stock.

He is now back at G/A but it has scared him shitless thinking it was all behind him and so it can happen to any of us, so until this covid came along it has made us all a little gung-ho, I am lucky enough to be able to spend a day at the races in normal times without having a bet if I don't fancy anything particular on that given card but even I was slipping into bad habits prior to my betting holiday, horse racing is fantastic but betting is not and that is why there is no such thing as a fun bet or an interest bet in my view.

My handbrake question to myself is would I have have half of my maximum on this animal and if the answer is no then it's not even worth a quid so just enjoy the race.

 

[BigChaang]

For what its worth ,
I love a day at the races , and especially with good friend's / proper horseracing fan's .
It's not unusual for some of my friends to have big bets , but i stick to my own ' system ' - smaller bet's , More of them ..
I certainly don't feel obliged / under pressure to ramp up my stakes because my mates are doing it .
We all have a great day out and often include a nice Lunch before , or Dinner after Racing . Simple pleasures .
Can't wait for this normality to resume !! .. :eagerness:

 

[jonthehammer]

All the best HF and enjoy the break, And a big well done to Scooby as well for his offer.

 

[Middle_Of_March]

Hurricane fly Respect to you for posting. Sure we can all agree we’ve been in that position before where we are betting more than we should be on stuff we shouldn’t even be looking at. I always give myself a period of no betting between Cheltenham ending and aintree starting and yet sometimes later in the year I again need to put myself on a little break. After the Arc this year, I stepped away for a bit from the betting scene. Refresh the mind, change the batteries, get out of the habit of looking at race cards and take a break. And it all feels much calmer and better. You’ll be absolutely fine.

Scooby91 top man. Lovely gesture.

 

[nortonscoin200]

Huge respect to you Hurricane Fly for having the courage to share your thoughts.

We all tread a very thin line with the role we play in this game.

And hat's off to you for taking control and deciding to have a break.

Hopefully, your lovely 35-1 Shishkin-Envoi double will be waiting to welcome you back!

And if you enjoy a good novel I can recommend a couple of crackers:

Witch Light by Susan Fletcher, a historical novel set in Scotland around the time of the Glencoe massacre in 1692.

Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens about a young woman left to raise herself in the North Carolina marshes.

Believe me, these two books are on-the-nose guaranteed-good-time value bets.

Always a pleasure reading your wise words on racing HF.

And look forward to reading plenty more - in the meantime, enjoy the break.

 

[Geordieboy83]

Fair play HF, A break will do you the world of good. I feel your pain, I too got into a rut A couple of months ago, I was betting on hills slots. Won a decent chunk one day, then thought this is easy. Up until mid December I gave them winnings back and started using my own funds.

I have since banned myself from all slots, even free spins. I’m sure you will come back a better, stronger man.

 

[Hurricane fly]

All

Appreciate your kind words of support, means a lot but I expected no less than from such a great forum.

I think the biggest issue is as I first started betting in uni winning small amounts meant a lot, but as I’ve gone into the real world and got a couple of promotions I’ve lost site of value of a pound etc. And made myself think I needed to win bigger as my attitude turned to “what’s ?20 going to do” Coupled with chasing means what would have been more than ok losses turned to a bigger issue. As someone who never took it seriously enough to keep real tabs outside of looking at my profit and loss for the year I lost sight of the bigger picture rather than needing it in one win.

As I mentioned I’ll still be on the forum pretty regularly for updates etc. Just the placing of bets I need to put a stop to for a bit.

 

[Nortons who]

Banning myself from all online bookies for a month.

I’ve been on a bad streak but continually chasing and not just cutting loses has only made things worse.

Making bets just to make them without any real thought is a big alarm bell for me that I’ve probably covered up to myself by some last ditch bets coming in and papering a crack. January is a long month as it is so I don’t need to continue down the spiral and put myself in real trouble in my day to day life. Me and my missus have an agreement that as long as betting doesn’t interfere with our lives she’s ok with it - and she usually get a fancy meal when it goes well - but I can see that if I don’t take a circuit break it will start to affect my moods etc

I’ll still pay attention to any Chelts horses that run but my work life dictates I don’t really have the ability to go to a shop to put a bet on so taking away the online will suffice (And I’m confident I’m not at the point where I’m itching for a bet so much I’d go out of my way to go to one). The number on a screen has made it took easy for me to keep chasing and lose discipline.

I’ll still be on here for updates but just to keep up to date not to make bets. Here’s to Hook Up doing the business at the weekend and shortening into favourite for the MNH!

For anyone who feels in a similar situation writing it down like this can be/has been a big help in what is still somewhat an anonymous function.

Hurricane fly

HF - Sorry I didn't read this sooner, will have to prioritise reading this thread since as others have said its probably one of the most impressive things about this form, the honesty, integrity and genuine kindness of posters shines through in what are undoubtedly dark times for many.

i know you will win this over in the way most befitting for you, as you have shown in many posts over the years a steely determination and strength of character. I sincerely hope that you are still able to enjoy and contribute on here to the Cheltenham debate, as your views are always highly respected.

As others have already said, huge respect to you for calling this out, not many would have taken that step so boldly. And yes, Scoobys reply shows not only what a class act he is too but the type of support which Im sure one wouldn't ordinarily expect to receive on a horse racing forum but then again this isn't just any old forum.

I appreciate you are taking a break but if and when you ever do decide to bet again on the horses, an old work friend of mine got a bit out of control many years ago on the horses, chatted it all through with his wife and to cut a long story short they agreed a set budget and his wife used to control it and put the bets on for him. He eventually was able to laugh it off that she controlled the housekeeping anyway so what difference did it make and untimately he was able to maintain an interest and involvement in something which was a passion to him without the temptation he had previously.

All the very best and don't be a stranger because there are a lot more like minded friends on here that you possibly didn't realise you had.

 

[Scooby91]

I have just recieved a 3rd person to contact me about software to remove gambling since I made an offer on this thread, I just wanted to highlight this as, if there was anyone else, then they are certainly not alone if they wanted to PM me.


Thanks to hurricane fly for bringing this thread to peoples attention, and without doing so, people may not have come forward for help. So much appreciated.

I just want to add that with no person in particular, the recurring theme seems to be casino games and slots.

I am not here to dictate what people do with their own time and money, and if that's what you choose to do as a form of paying for entertainment where you are in control of what your spending, then that's completely fine for you.


Im sure everyone is aware that deposit limits on accounts is a good starting point with any form of gambling to make sure you dont go beyond what your personal budget is, Some accounts also give the option to block the casino / gaming part of sites whilst still able to use the sports book.

But obviously if its gambling in general has become an issue, then
Gamstop is a very good alternative for longer breaks if you feel that is required
https://www.gamstop.co.uk

I have looked into it and the issue with the above is that it only covers uk based regulated casino and bookmakers sites.


Imo the best alternative is software which you can download, which blocks all gambling sites worldwide, and also anything gambling related at all.
You would need to do this for each personal appliance ie your phone and computer.

If anyone else wanted to so, then all you need is a suscription code to allow you to download the software. I don't have a particular preference, and there are multiple companies that have similar products, so if you wanted to find the one that best suits yourself, feel free to PM me, or I can use the one I have already had suggested. I will not directly be sending money, however I can purchase the subscription and can get the code sent across to yourself, where you can then add your own details so that Subscription would be for yourself.

I'm aware that a very high percentage of forum members will not need this, however if this applies to yourself, please feel free to PM me, where I can assure you that it would be 100% anonymous and there would be be no personal judgement of any type.

I'm not looking for any acknowledgement or anything in return, so there is no need to quote or comment on this post, but if down the line you have used this and wanted to share that experience in a positive way on this thread, I'm sure it may help others, however it is certainly not mandatory to do so.

I have tried to word this the best I can, if for what ever reason i have caused offence, rather than comment, please PM me.

 

[The King Pimm]

I think the help and advise you’re offering Scooby is really thoughtful and kind. It’s needed at times to prompt people who are struggling with their grip on gambling to get some assistance before they start to slip too much. Honesty and communication is really important and well done to Hurricane Fly for having the courage to highlight his own concerns and fears. A big thumbs up to Lobos and the others who told the tales of their pitfalls and failings in the past, we all lose from time to time, some more than others but it’s learning to stop and have a break when you’re losing too much.

 

[Rooster Booster]

I have just recieved a 3rd person to contact me about software to remove gambling since I made an offer on this thread, I just wanted to highlight this as, if there was anyone else, then they are certainly not alone if they wanted to PM me.


Thanks to hurricane fly for bringing this thread to peoples attention, and without doing so, people may not have come forward for help. So much appreciated.

I just want to add that with no person in particular, the recurring theme seems to be casino games and slots.

I am not here to dictate what people do with their own time and money, and if that's what you choose to do as a form of paying for entertainment where you are in control of what your spending, then that's completely fine for you.


Im sure everyone is aware that deposit limits on accounts is a good starting point with any form of gambling to make sure you dont go beyond what your personal budget is, Some accounts also give the option to block the casino / gaming part of sites whilst still able to use the sports book.

But obviously if its gambling in general has become an issue, then
Gamstop is a very good alternative for longer breaks if you feel that is required
https://www.gamstop.co.uk

I have looked into it and the issue with the above is that it only covers uk based regulated casino and bookmakers sites.


Imo the best alternative is software which you can download, which blocks all gambling sites worldwide, and also anything gambling related at all.
You would need to do this for each personal appliance ie your phone and computer.

If anyone else wanted to so, then all you need is a suscription code to allow you to download the software. I don't have a particular preference, and there are multiple companies that have similar products, so if you wanted to find the one that best suits yourself, feel free to PM me, or I can use the one I have already had suggested. I will not directly be sending money, however I can purchase the subscription and can get the code sent across to yourself, where you can then add your own details so that Subscription would be for yourself.

I'm aware that a very high percentage of forum members will not need this, however if this applies to yourself, please feel free to PM me, where I can assure you that it would be 100% anonymous and there would be be no personal judgement of any type.

I'm not looking for any acknowledgement or anything in return, so there is no need to quote or comment on this post, but if down the line you have used this and wanted to share that experience in a positive way on this thread, I'm sure it may help others, however it is certainly not mandatory to do so.

I have tried to word this the best I can, if for what ever reason i have caused offence, rather than comment, please PM me.

What a complete star. Different class

 

[Nortons who]

It's interesting what Scooby has said above about Casino Games and Slots being a problem area for some people and that's because game designers fully understand how to draw in punters and lure them with potential high bonus payouts. Also, since the pandemic I'm sure there are a lot more people either at home when they wouldn't have been in the past, with time on their hands to kill and a curiosity to try the games and slots provided by the on-line companies. Many offer free spins and bonuses which are tempting too.

As Scooby has said, many people find enjoyment from playing these Casino games and slots. Personally, I have occasional sessions at 10p a spin on Deal or No Deal Megaways Golden Box but this is with my eyes fully open to the fact that over time I will definitely lose money.

Without wanting in any way to come accross as though this is an egg sucking lesson, it's a simple fact that for some people slots are a relatively new on-line temptation and there is some mystique associated with them.

For those people who know they already have a problem then Scooby's kind offer and suggestions about blocking or restricting these games is undoubtedly the way to go. For others who who might be tempted but don't really know what to expect, it might be worth bearing the following in mind.

1). Try before you buy.

What I didn't realise is that there are quite a few on-line casino sites which host free demos of many of the slots offered by the UK betting companies.

You can play these slots for free, for whatever pretend stakes you wish and for as long as you like. Now I realise this could go either of 2 ways, you try a game absolutely love it and then lose loads of money playing it for real or hopefully and as I have found, you can see exactly how fast the pot goes down and it deters you from playing with real money.

Also, I have seen comments on other forums that some people use these free slot demos to help wean them off playing for real by playing their favourite slots for zero cash. Apparently some people found that over time they got used to playing the game without the risk of losing or winning and eventually got bored with it and stopped.

Attached below are links to 2 sites which host free slots demos. A word of caution, they are also on-line casino sites but you don't have to set up an account or deposit any money, only register name, age, addresss, so they can check that you are over 18. Its instant.

Free Slots & Demo Slots - Play Online Slots - Slots Temple
https://www.slotstemple.com/free-slots/

Free Slots | Play Free Casino Games Online
https://casino.guru/free-casino-games/slots

2). Become more knowledgeable about how slots work, eg the odds of losing and winning, especially the RTP (Return to Player) % for each slot and also the volatility (frequency of payouts / bonuses).

The attached article is woth reading for those who want to understand some of these aspects.

How Slots Work | Slot Machine Randomness, RTP & Volatility
https://casino.guru/how-slot-machines-work-math

3). Scale things right down. So as mentioned, I sometimes play Deal or Deal Golden Box for 10p a spin but there slots out there, eg Book of Dead which you can play a single line for as little as 1p a spin.

 

[The King Pimm]

I’m not sure what music you are into. I’m a fan of guitar music and find these songs a big help when my head is in the shed and I need picking up off the canvas. Some are very popular, some not do but they’re all uplifting in their own way. Check them out, you might like them:

Hard Road - Sam Roberts Band
Wake Up - Arcade Fire
What’s Up - 4 Non Blondes
Portions for Foxes - Rilo Kiley
Tiny Spark - Brendan Benson
Ashes - KT Tunstall
Where I Find My Heaven - Gigolo Aunts
Dawned on Me - Wilco
Wetsuit - The Vaccines
Nothing Ever Happens - Del Amitri
Heavyweight Champion of the World - Reverend and the Makers
Train in Vain - The Clash
Absolute Loser - Fruit Bats
Pissing in the Wind - Badly Drawn Boy
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road - Elton Road
Find The River - REM
No Fear of Falling - I Am Kloot
Made of Stone - The Stone Roses
Good Fortune - PJ Harvey
Bloodbuzz Ohio - The National
The King of Rock ‘n’ Roll- The Stone Roses
Everything’s Not Lost - Coldplay
Stuck in a Moment You Can’t Get Out of It - U2
Knock Knock - Band of Horses
Satisfaction - The Rolling Stones

 

[Spectre]

That would make a great playlist anyway TKP.

You and the band should do an online set with whichever of those you play/cover.

 

[Quevega]

I’m not sure what music you are into. I’m a fan of guitar music and find these songs a big help when my head is in the shed and I need picking up off the canvas. Some are very popular, some not do but they’re all uplifting in their own way. Check them out, you might like them:

Hard Road - Sam Roberts Band
Wake Up - Arcade Fire
What’s Up - 4 Non Blondes
Portions for Foxes - Rilo Kiley
Tiny Spark - Brendan Benson
Ashes - KT Tunstall
Where I Find My Heaven - Gigolo Aunts
Dawned on Me - Wilco
Wetsuit - The Vaccines
Nothing Ever Happens - Del Amitri
Heavyweight Champion of the World - Reverend and the Makers
Train in Vain - The Clash
Absolute Loser - Fruit Bats
Pissing in the Wind - Badly Drawn Boy
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road - Elton Road
Find The River - REM
No Fear of Falling - I Am Kloot
Made of Stone - The Stone Roses
Good Fortune - PJ Harvey
Bloodbuzz Ohio - The National
The King of Rock ‘n’ Roll- The Stone Roses
Everything’s Not Lost - Coldplay
Stuck in a Moment You Can’t Get Out of It - U2
Knock Knock - Band of Horses
Satisfaction - The Rolling Stones

Prefab Sprout - possibly the best and worst named bands ever, and sometimes mistaken for the Stone Roses.
Made me get out my Vinyl's and listen to,:encouragement: when love breaks down.

 

[Redbridge]

My boredom threshold must be at zero, slots and spins are mind numbing to me, cards do have an element of skill but without the dealt hands all night you are pissing in the wind, gave up football betting after the introduction of 3 points for a win, prior to this football betting covered all my betting.

Like many I held an early interest in the dogs but as soon as it was likened to animated roulette with 15 minutes between races it dawned on me that gambling at speed was where the dangers lay.

 

[The King Pimm]

Prefab Sprout - possibly the best and worst named bands ever, and sometimes mistaken for the Stone Roses.
Made me get out my Vinyl's and listen to,:encouragement: when love breaks down.

:biggrin-new::biggrin-new::biggrin-new::biggrin-new::biggrin-new: I’m not sure what happened there, my phone must have gone rouge again....
King of Rock ‘N’ Roll - Prefab Sprout
Made of Stone - The Stone Roses

 

[The King Pimm]

That would make a great playlist anyway TKP.

You and the band should do an online set with whichever of those you play/cover.

We haven’t practiced since last February so would probably struggle to play 500 miles at the moment!! Some great songs on that list especially this time of year when it’s cold and gloomy

 

[jonthehammer]

I’m not sure what music you are into. I’m a fan of guitar music and find these songs a big help when my head is in the shed and I need picking up off the canvas. Some are very popular, some not do but they’re all uplifting in their own way. Check them out, you might like them:

Hard Road - Sam Roberts Band
Wake Up - Arcade Fire
What’s Up - 4 Non Blondes
Portions for Foxes - Rilo Kiley
Tiny Spark - Brendan Benson
Ashes - KT Tunstall
Where I Find My Heaven - Gigolo Aunts
Dawned on Me - Wilco
Wetsuit - The Vaccines
Nothing Ever Happens - Del Amitri
Heavyweight Champion of the World - Reverend and the Makers
Train in Vain - The Clash
Absolute Loser - Fruit Bats
Pissing in the Wind - Badly Drawn Boy
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road - Elton Road
Find The River - REM
No Fear of Falling - I Am Kloot
Made of Stone - The Stone Roses
Good Fortune - PJ Harvey
Bloodbuzz Ohio - The National
The King of Rock ‘n’ Roll- The Stone Roses
Everything’s Not Lost - Coldplay
Stuck in a Moment You Can’t Get Out of It - U2
Knock Knock - Band of Horses
Satisfaction - The Rolling Stones

you missed Loser by Beck, what a tune that is.

Joking apart, well done Scooby and TKP for his list of songs.

 

[The King Pimm]

you missed Loser by Beck, what a tune that is.

Joking apart, well done Scooby and TKP for his list of songs.

I love Loser by Beck, it’s a song I never get bored of listening too even if the lyrics are bonkers