The ‘I’m struggling’ thread

[Scooby91]

Banning myself from all online bookies for a month.

I’ve been on a bad streak but continually chasing and not just cutting loses has only made things worse.

Making bets just to make them without any real thought is a big alarm bell for me that I’ve probably covered up to myself by some last ditch bets coming in and papering a crack. January is a long month as it is so I don’t need to continue down the spiral and put myself in real trouble in my day to day life. Me and my missus have an agreement that as long as betting doesn’t interfere with our lives she’s ok with it - and she usually get a fancy meal when it goes well - but I can see that if I don’t take a circuit break it will start to affect my moods etc

I’ll still pay attention to any Chelts horses that run but my work life dictates I don’t really have the ability to go to a shop to put a bet on so taking away the online will suffice (And I’m confident I’m not at the point where I’m itching for a bet so much I’d go out of my way to go to one). The number on a screen has made it took easy for me to keep chasing and lose discipline.

I’ll still be on here for updates but just to keep up to date not to make bets. Here’s to Hook Up doing the business at the weekend and shortening into favourite for the MNH!

For anyone who feels in a similar situation writing it down like this can be/has been a big help in what is still somewhat an anonymous function.

If its of interest there is a responsible gambling section on my site. I do not need to know whether you are or are or are not a member of my site. However I have some funds set aside for such circumstances, and in would be willing to stretch that across to members of this site. not sure of the best way to word this, and I do not want to overstep the mark. but if you felt you wanted to quit gambling all together or needed some assistance in tools to stop that or indeed, in paying for such things as cognitive behavioural therapy (I'm mention the latter as im helping someone else who requested this) please feel free to PM me on here.

Even if that is just a chat needed.

 

[FinalFurlong91]

Banning myself from all online bookies for a month.

I’ve been on a bad streak but continually chasing and not just cutting loses has only made things worse.

Making bets just to make them without any real thought is a big alarm bell for me that I’ve probably covered up to myself by some last ditch bets coming in and papering a crack. January is a long month as it is so I don’t need to continue down the spiral and put myself in real trouble in my day to day life. Me and my missus have an agreement that as long as betting doesn’t interfere with our lives she’s ok with it - and she usually get a fancy meal when it goes well - but I can see that if I don’t take a circuit break it will start to affect my moods etc

I’ll still pay attention to any Chelts horses that run but my work life dictates I don’t really have the ability to go to a shop to put a bet on so taking away the online will suffice (And I’m confident I’m not at the point where I’m itching for a bet so much I’d go out of my way to go to one). The number on a screen has made it took easy for me to keep chasing and lose discipline.

I’ll still be on here for updates but just to keep up to date not to make bets. Here’s to Hook Up doing the business at the weekend and shortening into favourite for the MNH!

For anyone who feels in a similar situation writing it down like this can be/has been a big help in what is still somewhat an anonymous function.

Weve all found ourselves in that situation at some point id say (a midnight chasing session at remmington never ends well haha)

A break and a refresh will do you good

And you'll come back thinking clearer and the winners will start flowing again

 

[Deleted member 4957]

Hurricane fly

Sorry to hear of your struggles HF, the fact you’ve taken the decision to stand back shows you are in control which is obviously where everyone needs to be, though this isn’t always the case.
Great advice already been offered, I wish you well...

 

[OscarWhisky]

Hurricane - I’ve very little worries you’ll make it through the other side as you’ve already shown the courage to speak up.

Take your time, enjoy the break, the forum will no doubt welcome you back with open armswhen you’re ready.

 

[ComplyOrDie]

Good to hear you recognised and took necessary steps Hurricane fly this can only be a positive thing.

I always feel it can be very easy to get carried away over the Xmas period, done it myself on more than one occasion in the past, very little to keep ourselves occupied, coupled with plenty of alcohol (for some) is only a recipe for disaster, IMO, when so much horse racing and football takes place.

All the best HF :encouragement:

 

[ryanh97]

Hurricane fly Well done for talking up HD, imagine that'll ring true to a lot of people. Enjoy the break big man.

Haven't had a profitable day myself for 5 months, thankfully its only disposable income and I'm still light hearted about it (other than Yorkhill going in at 66s). I normally take a bit of a break between now and trials day (as I normally attend), so I'm likely to be joining you on the break and probably extend it until the DRF.

If its of interest there is a responsible gambling section on my site. I do not need to know whether you are or are or are not a member of my site. However I have some funds set aside for such circumstances, and in would be willing to stretch that across to members of this site. not sure of the best way to word this, and I do not want to overstep the mark. but if you felt you wanted to quit gambling all together or needed some assistance in tools to stop that or indeed, in paying for such things as cognitive behavioural therapy (I'm mention the latter as im helping someone else who requested this) please feel free to PM me on here.

Even if that is just a chat needed.

​​​​​​​Incredible offer Scooby and I can't imagine anybody would think you're overstepping the mark. Lovely gesture, top man.

 

[The King Pimm]

It’s absolutely the right decision HF and I hope you see it through and benefit from your decision. I’ll post a more detailed response when I get a chance but well done for acknowledging you need a break and having the courage to post what you did, just try and be strong and stick with it. Restock up your accounts, clear your mind and get yourself ready for the spring if you feel you’re ready to return. Best wishes pal

 

[Quevega]

Well said Fly.
Muchos respectos.

 

[Skysthelimit]

I’ve been betting on the horses for over 25 years and in the very early days (before internet betting) would chase my losses. It’s so much harder to not do this now with everything online and the plethora of events you can bet on 24/7.

You’ve done the hard bit by recognising the problem and hopefully the break will help. You might want/need a complete break but could also use the time to review what works and doesn’t work for you.

This is is an amazing forum with some fantastic people with great knowledge of the game. The focus rightly tends to be on the horses and races but for me this is only part of the challenge. Being disciplined/selective and managing your stakes well are also needed. Perhaps we could help each other with this part of the challenge as well?

 

[Joleg]

Hurricane fly

It appears you have already taken the first step in defeating this by recognising the issue, Top Man
Writing it on here must also have taken guts, well done again

The most important things you have are your home and family life which you have also recognised, i'm sure that there are many of us on here who are happy to receive a DM if you find yourself struggling further, i certainly am.

I know that you will deal with this, the offer from Scooby91 is a fantastic gesture, please take him up on this if you feel the need. (Top Man Scooby91)

I hope to be reading, and stealing some of your knowledge in the near future.

​​​​​​​All the best mate

 

[Lobos]

Completely hear where you are coming from HF and feel your pain. I was that person 20 years ago. My job at the time allowed me to freely visit the bookies and I did the wrong thing and bet on every race without proper study. Just throwing money I didn't have at everything. I had some very good days which unfortunately kept the buzz going. It eventually and inevitably caught up with me though. I was taking out short term loans to pay short term loans and then hit the pay day loan shops. I was ignoring everything else in my life far too much of the time. My wife, my children, my family, my friends all suffered. It all caught up with me and one day I did the right thing and came clean to my wife. Thankfully she stuck by me and we worked things out together and settled all my loans. I'd built up ?10000 of debts. I stopped gambling on a daily basis but continued to go racing a few times a year with my friends and my family including the festival as that was a big part of our lives. I did bet , but only when I went racing and only with available funds saved up. I've continued that to this day and only build an affordable AP book for the festival and no other meeting and I don't bet outside of going racing. I could never go back to where I was all those years ago as it taught me that there are so many other things in my life that are more important to me than betting and i am a much better person for it. I applaud you for taking a long break HF and hope that in that time , like me, you find that you actually enjoy people around you and most importantly enjoy yourself more and find that there really is a life outside of betting on a daily basis .

 

[Spectre]

Banning myself from all online bookies for a month.

I’ve been on a bad streak but continually chasing and not just cutting loses has only made things worse.

Making bets just to make them without any real thought is a big alarm bell for me that I’ve probably covered up to myself by some last ditch bets coming in and papering a crack. January is a long month as it is so I don’t need to continue down the spiral and put myself in real trouble in my day to day life. Me and my missus have an agreement that as long as betting doesn’t interfere with our lives she’s ok with it - and she usually get a fancy meal when it goes well - but I can see that if I don’t take a circuit break it will start to affect my moods etc

I’ll still pay attention to any Chelts horses that run but my work life dictates I don’t really have the ability to go to a shop to put a bet on so taking away the online will suffice (And I’m confident I’m not at the point where I’m itching for a bet so much I’d go out of my way to go to one). The number on a screen has made it took easy for me to keep chasing and lose discipline.

I’ll still be on here for updates but just to keep up to date not to make bets. Here’s to Hook Up doing the business at the weekend and shortening into favourite for the MNH!

For anyone who feels in a similar situation writing it down like this can be/has been a big help in what is still somewhat an anonymous function.

You won't be alone HF, and what you've posted will resonate with many who wouldn't care to admit it. I admire you for having the balls to write it down on here. You've made the most significant step by sharing it with a group of people who will completely understand. I've no doubt if you've got the balls to post it on here, then you'll have to discipline to see it through. Enjoy the break and I look forward to hearing how you got on with your month off. FWIW it's a good thing to have a break anyway whether it's in these circumstances or not. Other than tracking results and the media, I often take time out completely.

 

[Spectre]

If its of interest there is a responsible gambling section on my site. I do not need to know whether you are or are or are not a member of my site. However I have some funds set aside for such circumstances, and in would be willing to stretch that across to members of this site. not sure of the best way to word this, and I do not want to overstep the mark. but if you felt you wanted to quit gambling all together or needed some assistance in tools to stop that or indeed, in paying for such things as cognitive behavioural therapy (I'm mention the latter as im helping someone else who requested this) please feel free to PM me on here.

Even if that is just a chat needed.

Top, top man Scooby. Genuine class.

 

[Kevloaf]

Credit to you for posting Hurricane fly - I bet you've helped more people than just yourself too with your post. Already some fantastic support and advice so I won't repeat it but thank-you for sharing.

 

[Outlaw]

It was only a matter of time before a someone took the plunge to post something like yourself HF and kudos for sharing it, this forum is so successful as a whole that it is very easy for others to feel that everyone is making money left, right & centre and has the game by the bullocks so to speak. This NH season i feel has been particular rough, very yoyo of being just in front then back to square one and i bet many can relate with that on the day to day stuff of late. I hope you spend the next month care free and enjoying the usual things in life that a rough patch on the geegeez can make us overlook :encouragement:

 

[charlie]

It was only a matter of time before a someone took the plunge to post something like yourself HF and kudos for sharing it, this forum is so successful as a whole that it is very easy for others to feel that everyone is making money left, right & centre and has the game by the bullocks so to speak. This NH season i feel has been particular rough, very yoyo of being just in front then back to square one and i bet many can relate with that on the day to day stuff of late. I hope you spend the next month care free and enjoying the usual things in life that a rough patch on the geegeez can make us overlook :encouragement:

An excellent post concur 100%

 

[BigChaang]

I wish you well H.F , Might do you good to have break , come back with a fresh mind . :encouragement:.

 

[ryanh97]

Following on from HFs post, I thought I'd be open and transparent so sat the Mrs down and showed her my Cheltenham spreadsheet. Currently saving for a wedding, I thought she'd be a little irritated that I'm spending hundreds of pounds on horse racing when that would go a long way towards our big day. I was very surprised at how calm and supportive she was, stating that as long as the bills are being paid and I'm still saving for the wedding anyway, then she has no problem with it.

I can honestly say my shoulders feel a bit lighter now. If anybody feels a bit anxious about how their loved ones would feel, talk to them, you'll likely be pleasantly surprised at how react. ​​​

 

[jono]

Huge respect to posting HF. Not an easy thing to do and sounds like a break will do you good. Look forward to seeing you back on here if/when ready

 

[Jorvik]

Just echoing what everyone else has said really in that fair play to you HF, you've already done the difficult bit. You'll certainly neither be the first or last but plenty have let it get the better of them unfortunately, so well done. Get your head right and come back stronger!
Fair play to Scooby too, lovely gesture. Proper forum this.