The ‘I’m struggling’ thread

[Garrison Savannah]

My heart goes out to you mate. You will get through this but it’s important to recognise it will be fucking hard and at times it will feel like you can’t get through it. You can and you will. Like others have said more eloquently than me, sometimes it’s good to have ‘faceless’ friends to speak with like us, so as not to burden your nearest and dearest with your worries and feelings.

Use us whenever and however you need to. Want to talk about racing and take your mind off things - pop in here. Want to unload about how things are going with your old man, drop a note in here. Feel free to PM too.

I tell you, it’s a bastard getting old, so much shit to deal with you don’t realise how lucky you are when you’re a child !

 

[That Horse]

First I'd like to apologise for flippantly saying "a horse racing forum of all places"

Robith
Certainly no need to apologise given the amount of shite we all talk about on here. You're free to let off steam as much or as little as you want in the circumstances.

Here, you can read about a guy called Kabongo who's giving some of us wet dreams about him becoming English national League top goalscorer this season, or what hot tub Kevloaf is looking to buy come next March....

Or you can vent here away from your family and friends if it helps in the circumstances.

Truly sorry to hear about your news.

 

[robith]

Robith
Certainly no need to apologise given the amount of shite we all talk about on here. You're free to let off steam as much or as little as you want in the circumstances.

Here, you can read about a guy called Kabongo who's giving some of us wet dreams about him becoming English national League top goalscorer this season, or what hot tub Kevloaf is looking to buy come next March....

Or you can vent here away from your family and friends if it helps in the circumstances.

Truly sorry to hear about your news.

every time I check my tracking pivot sheet there are some eye watering returns next to GDC and Shishkin before I remember I doubled him with the god amongst men Kabongo!

 

[knockando]

Here, you can read about a guy called Kabongo who's giving some of us wet dreams about him becoming English national League top goalscorer this season, or what hot tub Kevloaf is looking to buy come next March....

This properly tickled me - I read it on a Teams call at work and had to go off camera as I couldn't stop smirking.

robith echoing everyone else on this thread, so sorry to hear about the news - we're all here for you. Keep strong, as hard as that will be.

 

[Magpie]

Sorry to hear everything you are going through Robith. I’ve been through it myself with my mother, and there is no right or wrong way to deal with how you feel. It’s different to everyone, and it will take its toll on you mentally. So even in these circumstances, take a little time out for yourself, don’t feel guilty about having a good time, laughing, talking about horses etc, it will help you a lot. Even if it’s just a small about of time before you get back to worrying. Feel for you mate

 

[Topofthegame2021]

Robith,

there’s nothing I can say which hasn’t already been said but I am keeping your family in my prayers and I’m wishing all of you all the best for the future.

Treasure every moment you can and like everyones, my PM is always open if you want a chat about anything really :smile-new:

 

[ComplyOrDie]

I went to visit my dad at the weekend as he's going back to chemo next week, and it's really shaken me up. His condition has really badly deteriorated, but more than that it was the first time he sounded like he'd given up hope. I left to go to some drinks but cancelled as I cried on the tube the whole way home, but I feel guilty as the drinks also felt like an escape cos it was crushing me being there.

I said before that I was so grateful for the extra time his first chemo had given us, and felt I was at peace with what came next, but it turns out I'm really not.

Feel stupid posting into the void, on a horse racing forum no less about this, but since I posted here before I thought it might make me feel better to drop this here

Really sorry to hear about your Dad, Robith, as per others, if you need to talk I'm only a DM away.

Take care mate

 

[Cheltenham Novice Chase]

Really sorry to hear about your Dad, Robith, as per others, if you need to talk I'm only a DM away.

Take care mate

Hi Robith,

Just checking in. How are things going? How is your old man faring? How are you? I hope things are going ok and you’re both well, all things considered.

I hope you’re enjoying the start to the jumps season.

All the best
CNC

 

[robith]

Hi Robith,

Just checking in. How are things going? How is your old man faring? How are you? I hope things are going ok and you’re both well, all things considered.

I hope you’re enjoying the start to the jumps season.

All the best
CNC

Hi CNC,

Thanks very much for checking in.

Obviously dad's situation is a long term route to zero, but his condition is much improved from the day his appearance rattled me. He started chemo again last Monday (second one today) and it's a much milder one than the one he had around Christmas last year, so he's taken it in his stride. It's really taken the edge off the pain, and his appetite is back. We had a lovely day on his birthday last Wednesday where my sister came back from Canada, we had a chinese (which he was able to eat some of) and watched Only Fools and Horses.

He's also become more open about talking about end of life planning, insisting that his hospital bed goes in the living room so he can watch star trek during the day :biggrin-new:

He made a point when I went to see him on Saturday that only 5% of people with stage 3 pancreatic cancer live longer than a year. He's 13 months from his diagnosis now. Yeah, cancer is this maudlin black shadowy figure that stalks you noon and night; the challenge is to remember to keep living in the meantime.

It was also nice to be able to share some great news with him....that I got promoted! I had a lot of issues with anxiety and such when I was younger, and there's a lot of people in my industry who told me I'd never amount to anything. If I hadn't sought help towards the end of my 20s, they'd probably be right. CBT changed my life, and I definitely wouldn't have made a "Head of" leadership role at ones of the industry's most prestigious agencies without it. Some of my work is up for an award on the 21st, so I'd love to win to give dad something to brag about again!

 

[That Horse]

Hi CNC,

Thanks very much for checking in.

Obviously dad's situation is a long term route to zero, but his condition is much improved from the day his appearance rattled me. He started chemo again last Monday (second one today) and it's a much milder one than the one he had around Christmas last year, so he's taken it in his stride. It's really taken the edge off the pain, and his appetite is back. We had a lovely day on his birthday last Wednesday where my sister came back from Canada, we had a chinese (which he was able to eat some of) and watched Only Fools and Horses.

He's also become more open about talking about end of life planning, insisting that his hospital bed goes in the living room so he can watch star trek during the day :biggrin-new:

He made a point when I went to see him on Saturday that only 5% of people with stage 3 pancreatic cancer live longer than a year. He's 13 months from his diagnosis now. Yeah, cancer is this maudlin black shadowy figure that stalks you noon and night; the challenge is to remember to keep living in the meantime.

It was also nice to be able to share some great news with him....that I got promoted! I had a lot of issues with anxiety and such when I was younger, and there's a lot of people in my industry who told me I'd never amount to anything. If I hadn't sought help towards the end of my 20s, they'd probably be right. CBT changed my life, and I definitely wouldn't have made a "Head of" leadership role at ones of the industry's most prestigious agencies without it. Some of my work is up for an award on the 21st, so I'd love to win to give dad something to brag about again!

Congrats on your promotion. I also was quite anxious when I was in my early 20s and probably only shook it off in my early 30s if I'm honest, about to hit 40 next year :frown-new:.....

I'm glad it doesn't hold you back now as worrying and over thinking doesn't lead to anything worthwhile imo.

​​​​​​Happy to hear your dad has got his priorities right but star trek???

 

[robith]

Congrats on your promotion. I also was quite anxious when I was in my early 20s and probably only shook it off in my early 30s if I'm honest, about to hit 40 next year :frown-new:.....

I'm glad it doesn't hold you back now as worrying and over thinking doesn't lead to anything worthwhile imo.

​​​​​​Happy to hear your dad has got his priorities right but star trek???

We're a big Trek household TH!

 

[Cheltenham Novice Chase]

Hi CNC,

Thanks very much for checking in.

Obviously dad's situation is a long term route to zero, but his condition is much improved from the day his appearance rattled me. He started chemo again last Monday (second one today) and it's a much milder one than the one he had around Christmas last year, so he's taken it in his stride. It's really taken the edge off the pain, and his appetite is back. We had a lovely day on his birthday last Wednesday where my sister came back from Canada, we had a chinese (which he was able to eat some of) and watched Only Fools and Horses.

He's also become more open about talking about end of life planning, insisting that his hospital bed goes in the living room so he can watch star trek during the day :biggrin-new:

He made a point when I went to see him on Saturday that only 5% of people with stage 3 pancreatic cancer live longer than a year. He's 13 months from his diagnosis now. Yeah, cancer is this maudlin black shadowy figure that stalks you noon and night; the challenge is to remember to keep living in the meantime.

It was also nice to be able to share some great news with him....that I got promoted! I had a lot of issues with anxiety and such when I was younger, and there's a lot of people in my industry who told me I'd never amount to anything. If I hadn't sought help towards the end of my 20s, they'd probably be right. CBT changed my life, and I definitely wouldn't have made a "Head of" leadership role at ones of the industry's most prestigious agencies without it. Some of my work is up for an award on the 21st, so I'd love to win to give dad something to brag about again!

Hi Robith,

Congratulations on your promotion. That’s great news and I’m sure your Dad will be very proud.

It’s funny you mention your Dad’s appetite has returned now the chemo is milder. I remember my Dad being in the same situation not eating very much and my mother trying to manage my expectations at Christmas when we were hosting the family. My wife had cooked a lovely Christmas lunch and my Dad ate every bit. I remember my Mother turning to my Dad and saying “where did that appetite come from?” and my Dad said “yeah but this was so tasty”. Not his most tactful of moments but very funny indeed.

My Dad was a big Only Fools and Horses fan (who isn’t?) too. I distinctly remember us laughing together when Trigger was trying to explain why he bumped his head on a ‘Mind Your Head’ sign by saying “Yeah, but in those days I couldn’t read could I?” Classic.

Good luck with the award and keep enjoying your time with your Dad.

All the best
CNC

 

[robith]

Hi guys. Dad's doing ok at the moment. He's back in chemo but it's much gentler than what he'd been on before and it's taking the edge off for him.

A week or so ago I wrote to QPR where we both have season tickets to ask if there was anything they could do to perk him up. I was expecting a letter or something. I get a message from my dad saying that Club ambassador and legend Andy Sinton gave him a ring to check on him and ended up having a 30 minute chat about football with him! Dad is buzzing, and I can't believe it. Sometimes supporting a tin pot club has its benefits

 

[Fouroverthrutwo]

Hi guys. Dad's doing ok at the moment. He's back in chemo but it's much gentler than what he'd been on before and it's taking the edge off for him.

A week or so ago I wrote to QPR where we both have season tickets to ask if there was anything they could do to perk him up. I was expecting a letter or something. I get a message from my dad saying that Club ambassador and legend Andy Sinton gave him a ring to check on him and ended up having a 30 minute chat about football with him! Dad is buzzing, and I can't believe it. Sometimes supporting a tin pot club has its benefits

That's brilliant news Rob. I bet that call has made his year! Hope you are both able to keep enjoying life and laughing as much as you can. Best wishes to you both.

 

[Spectre]

How good is that Rob. Chuffed for your Dad.

Huge credit to the QPR, and specifically to Andy Whateverhisnameis.....................:highly_amused:

 

[Quevega]

How good is that Rob. Chuffed for your Dad.

Huge credit to the QPR, and specifically to Andy Whateverhisnameis.....................:highly_amused:

You mean Andy Sinton, who kept Chris Waddle out of Graham Taylor's England team.:uncomfortableness:

Not many better left wingers have played for England (maybe stewart downing)

 

[Spectre]

Not many better left wingers have played for England (maybe stewart downing)

:highly_amused::highly_amused:

 

[Cheltenham Novice Chase]

Trevor Sinclair should have had a lot more caps. Could play left or right wing. Quality player for QPR. Years ago I was really excited about Kevin Gallen at QPR. I had watched him team up with Robbie Fowler in an England Youth Team. His scoring record at youth level was phenomenal. The poor lad then did his cruciate and was never the same player again. I think he would have been the replacement to Les Ferdinand.

 

[robith]

Trevor Sinclair should have had a lot more caps. Could play left or right wing. Quality player for QPR. Years ago I was really excited about Kevin Gallen at QPR. I had watched him team up with Robbie Fowler in an England Youth Team. His scoring record at youth level was phenomenal. The poor lad then did his cruciate and was never the same player again. I think he would have been the replacement to Les Ferdinand.

Was so excited about Gallen as he broke through about the same time that I really got into football. He had a goal disallowed on debut at Old Trafford and from then on he kinda felt cursed. Was a proper cult hero in his second stint when Holloway was just about keeping the club afloat, playing defensive midfield often while we rattled buckets in the stands to pay the players' wages.

Sadly in recent years, if I may speak out of turn, my opinion of him has soured. His brother was removed as a youth coach in our big set up shake up, and the decision was not mutual and become acrimonious, which I sympathise with. But as such Gallen has kinda become a bit of a rent a gob to slate the club on podcasts etc. He has also been unnecessarily rude about some of the current squad, particularly Albert Adomah in a way I don't think is on or becoming of a so called "club legend"

 

[Magpie]

Just writing to say I’ve had a couple of bad months being poked and prodded about before eventually having a kidney removed recently. For the usual reasons, I can’t even type the word. Hoping that it’s all sunnier days ahead now. The forum has still been a big help, kept my mind of all the worries for a bit. Been an up and down time, but you don’t half find out the people who care about you