The ‘I’m struggling’ thread

[Topofthegame2021]

Unreal! Bet you had a few choice words on offer when you learnt that, ffs! Good news though at this point, hope the return home is a bit more straightforward! All the best.

Thanks AV! It was certainly a mixture of pure elation but then sheer anger :excitement: odd one really!

 

[Stormez]

So how did they find out it was a negative? Don’t retest them do they? What a cock up, I’d have been fuming!!!

 

[Topofthegame2021]

So how did they find out it was a negative? Don’t retest them do they? What a cock up, I’d have been fuming!!!

In passing I had a conversation with them saying I had COVID back in June. At that point they said it would probably have been faulty and there’s no need to isolate. After some digging it turns out that was the case :nightmare:

 

[Stormez]

Bet you wish you’d said that sooner :glee:

 

[Topofthegame2021]

Bet you wish you’d said that sooner :glee:

Haha yeah 100%! They didn’t really give me time to get a word in :cheerful:

 

[robith]

I went to visit my dad at the weekend as he's going back to chemo next week, and it's really shaken me up. His condition has really badly deteriorated, but more than that it was the first time he sounded like he'd given up hope. I left to go to some drinks but cancelled as I cried on the tube the whole way home, but I feel guilty as the drinks also felt like an escape cos it was crushing me being there.

I said before that I was so grateful for the extra time his first chemo had given us, and felt I was at peace with what came next, but it turns out I'm really not.

Feel stupid posting into the void, on a horse racing forum no less about this, but since I posted here before I thought it might make me feel better to drop this here

 

[Kevloaf]

I went to visit my dad at the weekend as he's going back to chemo next week, and it's really shaken me up. His condition has really badly deteriorated, but more than that it was the first time he sounded like he'd given up hope. I left to go to some drinks but cancelled as I cried on the tube the whole way home, but I feel guilty as the drinks also felt like an escape cos it was crushing me being there.

I said before that I was so grateful for the extra time his first chemo had given us, and felt I was at peace with what came next, but it turns out I'm really not.

Feel stupid posting into the void, on a horse racing forum no less about this, but since I posted here before I thought it might make me feel better to drop this here

Nothing to feel stupid about there at all. It's bound to be completely overwhelming and can hit you at different times regardless of how much you knew or have felt previously.

The void are there for you, I'm sure eaceful:

 

[Joleg]

I went to visit my dad at the weekend as he's going back to chemo next week, and it's really shaken me up. His condition has really badly deteriorated, but more than that it was the first time he sounded like he'd given up hope. I left to go to some drinks but cancelled as I cried on the tube the whole way home, but I feel guilty as the drinks also felt like an escape cos it was crushing me being there.

I said before that I was so grateful for the extra time his first chemo had given us, and felt I was at peace with what came next, but it turns out I'm really not.

Feel stupid posting into the void, on a horse racing forum no less about this, but since I posted here before I thought it might make me feel better to drop this here

Really really sorry to hear this mate, absolutely no need to feel stupid, we're all here for you

i can only imagine what you're going through, don't be afraid to talk.

Please don't leave things unsaid with your Dad

my guess is he would have wanted you to have those drinks

 

[Cheltenham Novice Chase]

I went to visit my dad at the weekend as he's going back to chemo next week, and it's really shaken me up. His condition has really badly deteriorated, but more than that it was the first time he sounded like he'd given up hope. I left to go to some drinks but cancelled as I cried on the tube the whole way home, but I feel guilty as the drinks also felt like an escape cos it was crushing me being there.

I said before that I was so grateful for the extra time his first chemo had given us, and felt I was at peace with what came next, but it turns out I'm really not.

Feel stupid posting into the void, on a horse racing forum no less about this, but since I posted here before I thought it might make me feel better to drop this here

Hi Robith,

As I mentioned before, I lost my father to cancer and I remember going through the emotional rollercoaster you’re now going through. It was really tough particularly when thinks we’re on a downward trajectory. I too felt at times I could cope with what came next only to find out I wasn’t as ready as i thought I was. I also found putting pen to paper very cathartic and it made me better understand my emotions and get them out of my system. Talking about my feelings was just too difficult so writing was a good alternative. You shouldn’t feel guilty as you too also need time to yourself so you can on your best form when you’re with your dad. It’s difficult to know what to say about ‘hope’. In my father’s case, we knew relatively early on he was receiving palliative care so we knew we were playing with time. All you can really do, is continue to be there for him for whatever he needs right now. For me, this sometimes meant keeping his spirits up with some funny stories but at other times it meant having some heartfelt conversations or sometimes just being together in silence. You’ll know what to do. It was very brave of you to post and if it helps you I would encourage to continue doing so. If you ever want to talk, let me know, I’d be happy to take a call. Stay strong and I obviously hope things take a turn for the better.

CNC

 

[Quevega]

I went to visit my dad at the weekend as he's going back to chemo next week, and it's really shaken me up. His condition has really badly deteriorated, but more than that it was the first time he sounded like he'd given up hope. I left to go to some drinks but cancelled as I cried on the tube the whole way home, but I feel guilty as the drinks also felt like an escape cos it was crushing me being there.

I said before that I was so grateful for the extra time his first chemo had given us, and felt I was at peace with what came next, but it turns out I'm really not.

Feel stupid posting into the void, on a horse racing forum no less about this, but since I posted here before I thought it might make me feel better to drop this here

I didn't think you were stupid when I read it mate.
Which is unusual, as the majority of the posts I read on the forum do sound stupid :highly_amused::love_heart:

 

[Scooby91]

Robith,

I can't really offer much to the conversation in terms of being in the same position, or advice.

However I am sorry to here about this, and feel free to PM me, if you wanted to have a chat about the racing.

if there are any days your free and already watching the racing, if you want me to write you up a race card for the meetings that day, just for interest. F.O.C ofcourse, give me a shout, if that's any help at all.

 

[Lobos]

Feel for you Robith. Lost my dad far too young at 72 from Asbestos cancer. He knew there was no hope which must be a horrible thing to get your head round. Myself and the rest of my family just tried to make things as normal as we could for him for his remaining months and we still enjoyed laughs together. Even on the night he died he got out of his bed , stood up and pissed in a bucket as he was so weak but he still had a joke about it and said 'what a fucking carry on' to me. I laughed. He would have appreciated that. He died at home with his family around him and as mad as it sounds, it was perfect. He was the bravest, strongest, funniest, most dignified and charming person I've ever known and I'm proud to say I was his son.

Not sure if the above will help but all I can say is try and make his days as normal as possible and keep his and your chin up. It really is ok to cry and it does help. Keep talking and keep doing the things you like. Its not your fault or anyone elses.

Best wishes kidder

 

[Stormez]

Please don't leave things unsaid with your Dad

This is the most important thing for me.

I didn’t see my dad for 7 years before he died (didn’t fall out, just lost contact) and only found out he was ill a week before he died.

But we managed to squeeze a lot of good talks into that last week & I said everything I’d wanted to to him. Was a massive weight off me & was a big comfort afterwards too.

This may only be an Internet forum, but you probably speak to people more on here than you do some family & friends. You develop relationships without even realising it, and as all the replies show, they care.

All the best with it Rob.

 

[Saxon Warrior]

I went to visit my dad at the weekend as he's going back to chemo next week, and it's really shaken me up. His condition has really badly deteriorated, but more than that it was the first time he sounded like he'd given up hope. I left to go to some drinks but cancelled as I cried on the tube the whole way home, but I feel guilty as the drinks also felt like an escape cos it was crushing me being there.

I said before that I was so grateful for the extra time his first chemo had given us, and felt I was at peace with what came next, but it turns out I'm really not.

Feel stupid posting into the void, on a horse racing forum no less about this, but since I posted here before I thought it might make me feel better to drop this here

Robith

This is a safe place to write your thoughts, we are pleased you trusted us with this.

Thank you for being so open, it does make complete sense to share your thoughts.

Be strong, your Dad needs that.

Do everything for him that he wants you to do.

Talk about everything he wants to talk about,

Its his time to be the focus of all your family.

Any time you want to chat, come on here

If you want to Message me, please do, or anyone else that offers,

Ive been in your position, I’ve taken time off work to take my Dad to chemo, plenty of times, to his initial cancer diagnosis at the hospital, talking through so many things together, buying the newspapers, taking them into hospital and helping him in writing down his bets when he was on days in a hospital bed, and putting them on for him - to give him something better to focus on.

It’s hard, but in some ways, these days can be rewarding for him and for you.

Take care.

Sax

 

[Faugheen_Machine]

Morning Rob

I can't add anything that hasn't already been said but I'm here if you need to chat, just drop me a PM anytime.

Stick in
FM

 

[Spectre]

I'm so sorry to hear that Rob, but just by posting what you have you are much stronger than you think you are. Clear your head the best you can and make every day count mate.

And as you've read already, there's a really good bunch of friends on here that can be your release valve whenever you need us.

 

[BigChaang]

Definitely no need to feel stupid , Robith ,. Take Care of Yourself and Your Dad . ... B.C .

 

[Odin]

It's OK to not be OK Rob, and you're stronger (and infinitely less stupid) than you think just for being able to confront that fact.

I suspect I'm a bit younger, so I've only experienced this situation with my grandad, but like Lobos I have a similar funny memory with him. He was struggling to swallow at one point, so me and my little brother sat him up when he was thirsty and slowly tried to give him a drink sip by sip. Of course, being the stubborn bugger he was, he tried to take the cup off us and down as much as he could at once, obviously leading to him choking slightly. It was one of the best moments of his week long struggle (I guess I was fortunate it was quick for him) and still sticks with me now that he could be so sick, but still so stubborn. That was my grandad.

I hope you get a similar opportunity to see that he is still your dad and keep it with you. I'd also echo those comments about making sure nothing is left unsaid.

Take care and stay as strong as you have been so far,
Odin

 

[robith]

First I'd like to apologise for flippantly saying "a horse racing forum of all places" - truth is I posted because of the positive effect you all had on me when he was first diagnosed and when he managed to stick around a bit.

That said I am truly bowled over by the response from everyone here. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

I've felt guilty cos my brother lives at home, so him and mum take a bigger brunt of it than I do. When we first found out I asked dad if he'd prefer to talk about his situation when I came round or if he wanted cheering up. He said the latter. So I fill that job with aplomb but it's really hard to be the jester all the time, but I don't feel like I can complain.

Football is tough as well cos we have season tickets next to each other. We've two home games this week and tonight certainly I don't feel I can go. Sitting next to an empty seat with his name on it is just too much at the moment.

But we take a moment. We take a deep breath. And we take another step forward.
And it's easier to do with the support of a community like this. Thank you all so much

 

[ryanh97]

As everybody else had said Rob, if you need me, the inbox is always open.