The ‘I’m struggling’ thread

[Saxon Warrior]

I mentioned way back in the depths of the horror last year that my auld man was diagnosed with cancer last August. An incurable one too, so the nastiest of the nasty. He had a couple of months really. They offered him chemo, but were explicit - this has a low chance of success, and is buying you time not curing you. After we got Christmas pulled from out under us I stood on the drive way of his house on Xmas Eve - he'd finished chemo the day before. He'd lost half his body weight, and couldn't stand in the door cos the cold was rippling him.

About two months ago he went for his scan that showed that the secondary cancer had all but completely retreated. Medium term it's still a route to zero, but he won't be considered for chemo again until October. That's over a year since we first heard "a few months".

Dad an I are both season tickets holders at QPR, and I know Charlie Austin returning meant the world for him. When he came back permanently, we both just had last Saturday etched in our minds. So from thinking he'd pass away in lockdown, I wouldn't be able to go to hospital, limited funeral etc, to sitting back in our seats at Loftus Road watching Charlie upfront. Our seats aren't covered so even the sun came out for it.

And then we show up in the official coverage of the game celebrating Rob Dickie's banger. A permanent digital memorial. I'll treasure that 1-1 draw with Millwall all my days

That is tear-jerking stuff robith

Thank you for sharing

 

[Rhinestone_Cowboy]

Lovely story robith, really great news

 

[knockando]

Great post robith - brings out the highs and lows of life all in one, here's to many more of those sun drenched days out at Loftus rd for you

 

[robith]

Thanks everyone for your kind words

I won't leave it up, but as a treat here we are celebrating (if you can spot us)

 

[Quevega]

Is that you being held by your dad whilst getting a kiss ??

 

[Quevega]

Had you down as older than that :fat:

 

[Spectre]

Thanks for sharing and giving us an update Rob.

I didn't want to ask for obvious reasons given your originial prognosis, so I'm so pleased to hear your emotional words, and that things are not as you feared they were.

You can fully focus on a season where QPR try to avoid relagation now, and still love every bit of it, even if they go down! :highly_amused:

In all seriousness, even as a supporter of a rival Championship team, I really hope you have an excellent season. QPR have always been a team I've had a soft spot for, and they're overdue some success. It would be nice if it was this season.

 

[robith]

Had you down as older than that :fat:

haha, not me but he's a good guy - was so worried when we got in cos we couldn't see him and feared the worst (there were a few ominous gaps in the crowd, and where i sit it's pretty tight knit) but turns out he'd just moved behind us

I'm there in my fetching pineapple neck gaiter - totally forgot we were playing 'Wall :boxing:

 

[BraveInca]

I mentioned way back in the depths of the horror last year that my auld man was diagnosed with cancer last August. An incurable one too, so the nastiest of the nasty. He had a couple of months really. They offered him chemo, but were explicit - this has a low chance of success, and is buying you time not curing you. After we got Christmas pulled from out under us I stood on the drive way of his house on Xmas Eve - he'd finished chemo the day before. He'd lost half his body weight, and couldn't stand in the door cos the cold was rippling him.

About two months ago he went for his scan that showed that the secondary cancer had all but completely retreated. Medium term it's still a route to zero, but he won't be considered for chemo again until October. That's over a year since we first heard "a few months".

Dad an I are both season tickets holders at QPR, and I know Charlie Austin returning meant the world for him. When he came back permanently, we both just had last Saturday etched in our minds. So from thinking he'd pass away in lockdown, I wouldn't be able to go to hospital, limited funeral etc, to sitting back in our seats at Loftus Road watching Charlie upfront. Our seats aren't covered so even the sun came out for it.

And then we show up in the official coverage of the game celebrating Rob Dickie's banger. A permanent digital memorial. I'll treasure that 1-1 draw with Millwall all my days

Thanks for sharing Robith. My wife has no interest in horse racing but when I shared this with her it brought a tear of joy to her. Her father is in similar boat as diagnosed with incurable liver cancer and they even had the McMillan nurses visit as told only had few weeks. That was in November and despite lockdowns etc we have crammed so much in since then for him and he is still going strong. We both support our non league team at Slough and nothing gave me greater pleasure than buying his season ticket last week. It’s been tough this year but reading this thread and sharing has really helped.

 

[robith]

Thanks for sharing and giving us an update Rob.

I didn't want to ask for obvious reasons given your originial prognosis, so I'm so pleased to hear your emotional words, and that things are not as you feared they were.

You can fully focus on a season where QPR try to avoid relagation now, and still love every bit of it, even if they go down! :highly_amused:

In all seriousness, even as a supporter of a rival Championship team, I really hope you have an excellent season. QPR have always been a team I've had a soft spot for, and they're overdue some success. It would be nice if it was this season.

19th at Christmas and we finished 9th - now have that squad and more. On our day we are the most attacking team in the championship. If we keep some consistency this season genuinely think we'll be in and around the play offs.......14th placed finish in bound!

 

[robith]

Thanks for sharing Robith. My wife has no interest in horse racing but when I shared this with her it brought a tear of joy to her. Her father is in similar boat as diagnosed with incurable liver cancer and they even had the McMillan nurses visit as told only had few weeks. That was in November and despite lockdowns etc we have crammed so much in since then for him and he is still going strong. We both support our non league team at Slough and nothing gave me greater pleasure than buying his season ticket last week. It’s been tough this year but reading this thread and sharing has really helped.

I'm glad the words brought some comfort.

When we found out, dad was a proper mess, couldn't even bring himself to say the "C word". But that extra time he's had his life insurance paid out, paid off the mortgage, finished off some bits to the house, sorted his and mum's wills, gone to QPR, you can see how much contentment just having that bit more time to do stuff. Time, it really is the most precious commodity

 

[Lobos]

Absolutely Robith. What's the saying...'Time waits for no man'. Very true. We only get one life, need to enjoy it as best you can ! Every day is precious. My dad died at the tender age of 72 but enjoyed it to the full right up until then. Based on that I have another 14 years left which is why on Monday I hung up my boots and retired for good. My lovely wife will join me in 4 years time when she is 60 but has for now dropped to just 2 days which is fantastic. I love life and don't want to waste it while I'm still healthy. None of us know what's waiting around the corner.

 

[ryanh97]

Absolutely Robith. What's the saying...'Time waits for no man'. Very true. We only get one life, need to enjoy it as best you can ! Every day is precious. My dad died at the tender age of 72 but enjoyed it to the full right up until then. Based on that I have another 14 years left which is why on Monday I hung up my boots and retired for good. My lovely wife will join me in 4 years time when she is 60 but has for now dropped to just 2 days which is fantastic. I love life and don't want to waste it while I'm still healthy. None of us know what's waiting around the corner.

Enjoy the retirement mate. You'll be a moderator here before you know it

 

[Lobos]

Enjoy the retirement mate. You'll be a moderator here before you know it

:welcoming: No chance. I'll leave that to the experts ! Too much like hard work !

 

[Saxon Warrior]

Absolutely Robith. What's the saying...'Time waits for no man'. Very true. We only get one life, need to enjoy it as best you can ! Every day is precious. My dad died at the tender age of 72 but enjoyed it to the full right up until then. Based on that I have another 14 years left which is why on Monday I hung up my boots and retired for good. My lovely wife will join me in 4 years time when she is 60 but has for now dropped to just 2 days which is fantastic. I love life and don't want to waste it while I'm still healthy. None of us know what's waiting around the corner.

Same age as me Lobos.

....and I havent done a paid days work for 2 years 4 months.

No wonder i do so much analysis on here, its to avoid finding a job (which to be fair, I havent been looking for).

My dad retired at 65,
* Lost the sight in one eye in his first year retired
* Got cancer in his lungs/brain in his 3rd year retired
* Was in a hospice and dying just after his 4th year retired - at 69.

Thats why I took redundancy early.

 

[Lobos]

Good on ya Saxon. All those years of paying in what others thought was too much into my pension has worked out !

 

[Spectre]

A momentous day. Congratulations Lobos. Good for you.

 

[Faugheen_Machine]

Absolutely Robith. What's the saying...'Time waits for no man'. Very true. We only get one life, need to enjoy it as best you can ! Every day is precious. My dad died at the tender age of 72 but enjoyed it to the full right up until then. Based on that I have another 14 years left which is why on Monday I hung up my boots and retired for good. My lovely wife will join me in 4 years time when she is 60 but has for now dropped to just 2 days which is fantastic. I love life and don't want to waste it while I'm still healthy. None of us know what's waiting around the corner.

Congratulations mate. It must be the best feeling ever, and even better going a few years early. :encouragement:

 

[Saxon Warrior]

Good on ya Saxon. All those years of paying in what others thought was too much into my pension has worked out !

I hope I have have instilled the idea of sorting out paying into Pensions early, to all of my family, as it gives more options to them later in their working lives. :encouragement:

I havent taken mine yet, but will do at the end of next year, for maximum efficiency.

 

[Alexmilton]

Offsetting tax into pensions is the way forward, I'm 32 now and I plan to retire at 55 at the latest.
Enjoy your extra time Lobos